Posted in Myspace is awesome! on Mar 30th, 2007 10 Comments »
If one were to look at my myspace page, one would learn a great deal about me. Particularly by examining my friends.
One would discover, for example, that I am VERY POPULAR and I have MANY FRIENDS. Who are all these people? one may ask. Sometimes I wonder myself.
100 - the number of [...]
Posted in How may I offend you today?, Phun With Photos, Superior Beings on Mar 30th, 2007 14 Comments »
“Uhhh…Rosario, that ostrich was just for show. Stop laughing. You’re totally going to get a stomach ache. And you owe me an ostrich. Who eats a whole live ostrich? Seriously…stop laughing. It’s not funny.”
“Who is this girl and why is my hand up in the air? Gitchee gitchee hands [...]
Posted in Booya on Mar 28th, 2007 9 Comments »
October 20, 2006. A day that will live in Here in Idaho infamy.
Click here if you don’t remember.
Back? Good. Never have I received such vehement hate mail. Never. And I’m pro-life, remember? The ‘Weird Al’ lovers came out in droves, droves I tell you, to defend the [...]
Posted in How may I offend you today?, I'm a mama y'all. on Mar 27th, 2007 31 Comments »
A few months ago I noticed my girls had been giving their Barbies, ahem, unusual names. Like Tyena (pronounced Tie-ee-na) and wait for it….Pleasure.
Pleasure.
Maybe Pleasure isn’t as bad as a made-up word, or the child from my sister-in-law’s school named Abcd (Ab-si-dee). Or the random capitalizations, accent marks and excessive use of h, [...]
Posted in How may I offend you today? on Mar 26th, 2007 4 Comments »
place name - gynecologist’s office
noun - quadriplegic basketball player
exclamation - I don’t know nuthin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies!
verb - did the Disco Duck
noun - lady parts
exclamation - Je suis sur le feu!
noun - goiter
verb - mad libbed
place - prehistoric cave
person - Adolph Hitler
verb - jiggled
body part - pinky toe
activity - midget wrestling
activity - caber tossing
exclamation [...]
Posted in Conversations in my Head on Mar 25th, 2007 9 Comments »
Me: Senor Gonzales…
Al: I speak English.
Me: But you have brown skin. I thought you were Mexican.
Al: No, I was born in San Antonio. I’m American.
Me: So if you’re from San Antonio, how come I’ve never seen you at the Northstar mall? Or the Fiesta parade? Or [...]
Posted in I'm a mama y'all., Look at me...I'm so great. on Mar 25th, 2007 4 Comments »
I want to be many things.
1980: I’m going to be Wonderwoman. I’m just like Wonderwoman because I can put my headband around my waist like a belt and I wear my socks up to my knees like boots. And I’m going to marry Richie Cunningham.
1982: I want to [...]
Posted in Look at me...I'm so great., Movies are my life. Not really. on Mar 23rd, 2007 8 Comments »
It’s Friday, y’all. And I’m making a little list. Many things that make me happy. You should make one, too.
This song. It’s been running in the back of my head for about
ten years now.
This song. It’s AWESOME.
Posted in Think McFly Think on Mar 22nd, 2007 8 Comments »
Once upon a time, long ago, during the summer of 2006, a beautiful mother took her children to the pool. The children, ages seven, five and three, required many poolish accessories: towels, floaties, balls, sunscreen, etcetera. All was going well when suddenly! A child, who shall remain nameless, began doing a [...]
Posted in I'm a mama y'all., Think McFly Think on Mar 21st, 2007 13 Comments »
Some people would like to say Walmart is a microcosm of American society. I disagree. Scientist tell us that Walmart is actually a showplace, possibly a breeding ground for every embarrassing American stereotype imaginable. Where else, barring the carnival, are you going to find:
really phat, but take out the ‘ph’ and insert [...]
