Welcome to the greatest show on earth…
Mar 21st, 2007 by Kristi
Some people would like to say Walmart is a microcosm of American society. I disagree. Scientist tell us that Walmart is actually a showplace, possibly a breeding ground for every embarrassing American stereotype imaginable. Where else, barring the carnival, are you going to find:
really phat, but take out the ‘ph’ and insert an ‘f’ people shopping for phatty foods with their motorized scooters? While WWI vets hobble around them, all limbs amputated, but too proud to use a cane? Dynomite!a woman breastfeeding…while shopping! It was amazing!
pajama clad middle-aged people, shopping for their groceries at three in the afternoon! Awesome!
very loud thirteen year old girls…”You should totally buy that! Let’s clasp arms and take up the whole aisle as we wander around aimlessly for hours! LET’S BE VERY LOUD!!!!”
all the awesome mamas out there…”Shut up! Stop whining before I beat you!” Even better when you see that the mama is missing her front two teeth! Spectacular!
Mullets! So many mullets!
Back in San Antonio…the obese women wearing sweatpants featuring the words “Baby Girl” on their bottoms…Classic!
Almost as good as the babies wearing nothing but diapers! Dirty diapers! Super duper!
Yay for Walmart! These colors don’t run!
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HA!!!!!!! I just wrote about my Sunday Wal-Hell excursion. You are spot on.
That Little Stone Cold doll? Priceless. Frightening, but priceless. I bet you can set it up on three easy payments of $19.99 each.
Congrats on being the CHBM member of the week!
amy and i prefer the walmart in brownwood tx. this is the place where people outnumber teeth 2 to 1. and if they do have teeth, they are a nice brown color. just thought i would put my two-cents in. it’s nice to know Britney’s people are in places other than the south. funny how the victoria native puts the little native son on her blog. he needs a little can o’ whoop a**
chuck
but..but..but.. i like walmart!
lol
Yeah, their shoppers (this subset anyway) sound about as classy as their business practicies.
OH. MY. GOD. the lil stone cold doll.
A visit to Wal-Mart is always good fun. Hubby and I call it our bi-weekly visit to the Carnie Zoo.
That doll. My God.
We don’t have as many Wal-Marts here, but I do know people who like to go every Friday as part of their pre-weekend fun. You know, catch the sites, buy some toilet paper. Good times.
I feel like we must be neighbors since I saw all of those people on my last visit to Wal-Mart.
Hysterical! I rather visit Target…not as many amputees.
should i be totally offended because i shop there or should i feel completely superior for NOT being any of the above? i chose the latter.. that way i can totally make fun of the rest of those losers that I REALLY DO SEE EVERY TIME I GO THERE! It’s scary how right on you are.
Ah, it’s what makes a trip to Walmart so much fun. Not only can you buy toilet paper, toothpaste, produce, and a new pair of shoes all in one trip, you can be reminded that just because you shop there, doesn’t mean you have to turn into one of THOSE people. My husband and I used to think the Wally World we shopped at in North Central WA was the epitome of Friday-Night-White-Trash-Watching. Then we moved to Maine. It’s only slightly better here.
Try going on a Sunday! Then all the yokels at least have a button-up shirt on!
OMG…….you just decribed, spot-on, the Wal-Mart here in Eastlake, Ohio……….mullets, people outnumbering teeth, and the extremely obese putting around in their motorized scooters with their cases of Pepsi and bags of chips in the basket. My favorite - going there late at night (it’s open 24/7) and seeing people with SMALL kids (like toddlers) letting the kids run around - and it’s like, 1 a.m. - ????? Geez, call me an overprotective mom, but my toddler (with a few exceptions, of course) was usually at HOME, SLEEPING, at 1 a.m. Call me crazy.
Brilliant.Absolutely .Walmart is just creepy.
[...] Speaking of Wal-Hell, I just read a hilarious post by Here in Idaho about “the greatest show on Earth.” [...]