Here in Idaho

Keith Richards has acknowledged consuming a raft of illegal substances in his time, but this may top them all.

In comments published Tuesday, the 63-year-old Rolling Stones guitarist said he had snorted his father’s ashes mixed with cocaine.

Oh Keith! You’re such a nut! You wacky junkie! lololololol! So what’s the big deal, anyway? He snorted his dad? I can top this with one nostril pinched behind my back. Things I snorted in the last hour:

  • Uzbekistan
    an old rubber boot
    a new rubber boot
    the emotion ‘love’
    the ashes of Laurence Olivier

    my yahoo email account
    some cocaine
    my copy of From Justin to Kelly


    hair
    a cat
    my Chinaman hat
    some corn on the cob
    moose poop

  • You know what the most surprising part of that quote is? That he’s only 63 years old. Because he doesn’t look a day past 102. Good on ya, Keith. Hide your corpses, everyone!


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    14 Comments »

    Comment by coolbeans
    2007-04-03 18:47:17

    That little silver thing on his forehead suggests his skin is continually falling down like too-loose pants and fastening it to his skull is the best they can do at this point.

     
    Comment by MammaLoves
    2007-04-03 18:56:42

    Alarming and hysterical!!

     
    Comment by Rebecca
    2007-04-03 19:32:09

    Creeeeeeepy ol’ Keith Richards.

     
    Comment by Jessica
    2007-04-03 20:35:35

    This is totally something I’d expect from Britney! She’s nutso too!

    Things you should snort in the next hour:

    Angelina’s newest kid
    Larry Birkhead’s DNA (apparently the courts don’t want it)
    Vitamin D (it prevents cancer!)

     
    Comment by Awesome Mom
    2007-04-03 22:19:00

    When I saw that picture the first thing that struck me is how dessicated he looks. There has to be something to the whole snorting ashes thing though because he is still kicking.

     
    Comment by Mrs. Schmitty
    2007-04-04 08:18:53

    And for some reason…I’m not totally shocked by this.

     
    Comment by angel
    2007-04-04 08:48:58

    There are no words…

    He doesn’t even look human.

     
    Comment by JChevais
    2007-04-04 09:43:09

    That’s scary.

     
    Comment by AbsolutelyBananas
    2007-04-04 09:44:50

    I love your list of things you’ve snorted… very funny!

     
    Comment by dgm
    2007-04-04 10:04:51

    “ashes to ashes, dust to dust” and all that.

     
    Comment by Erica AP
    2007-04-04 11:48:13

    That sure is a lot of things to snort… And big things. Are you sure that you and I have the same definition of snorting??

     
    Comment by Kristen
    2007-04-04 13:24:34

    Wow. I mean, just….WOW. And even bigger wow to you. LOL!

     
    Comment by kellypea
    2007-04-04 16:06:23

    the guy gives me the creepin’ heebs…

     
    Comment by Irish Goddess
    2007-04-05 14:34:33

    Sure, he’s wacky, but I love him. The guy does life his own way, and he’s still putting out good music in his 60’s. Considering what all he has done in life (and does) I think he looks amazing.

     
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