Posted in Look at me...I'm so great. on Aug 30th, 2007 13 Comments »
Shows: Webster, Diff’rent Strokes
Lesson: Diminutive African-American children are usually adopted by wealthy white folks.
Angelina Jolie and Madonna learned this lesson as well, except for the American part. And I guess they couldn’t find any glandularlly challenged children, so they just went for some African toddlers. I’ll be sure to do the [...]
Posted in Choose your own adventure on Aug 29th, 2007 7 Comments »
Character: Burt
Show: The Hogan Family
Stereotype: Nerdy neighbor
Burt taught me that people who wear glasses can never be cool ever. And that every cute guy is supposed to have at least one nerdy friend who wears suspenders. And also that it is entirely appropriate to walk in to your neighbor’s house [...]
Posted in Conversations in my Head, Dear Diary on Aug 28th, 2007 9 Comments »
Dear Diary,
I can’t belieeeeeeve everyone still thinks I’m gay. Are we going to make accusations like this every time a guy tries to rendezvous secretly with an anonymous stranger in a public restroom? Is this what America is coming to? If I had been given a chance to explain, I would have [...]
Posted in School House Rock! on Aug 28th, 2007 No Comments »
Two, actually. If you haven’t read the last one.
Posted in LeftRightWrong, Unfunny on Aug 28th, 2007 5 Comments »
What’s even scarier than a beauty queen who can’t articulate a complete sentence? This is. And it’s probably the best explanation for my libertarian leanings. Good luck sleeping easy tonight.
Posted in Think McFly Think on Aug 25th, 2007 12 Comments »
Aye, mija. At least you’ve got your looks.
Personally, I believe that US Americans are the future of the world and education is in South Africa. And US of Americans are good [...]
Posted in Choose your own adventure on Aug 25th, 2007 23 Comments »
Boys: Go here. You are not wanted at the moment.
Girls: Keep reading.
If I say ‘down down baby,’ you know where I’m talking about, don’t you? Down by the rollercoaster, of course.
I don’t know about you but I was the queen of the hand-claps. My sister and I had some [...]
Posted in Unfunny on Aug 24th, 2007 4 Comments »
Perez Hilton is a little bit of a bastard. BUT he always has the scoop…and he says Fidel Castro is dead. Do what you will with this information, I’m setting my sights on my new favorite despot, Venezuelan President for Life Hugo Chavez. Here’s my first official welcoming letter to the new [...]
Posted in A day in the life on Aug 22nd, 2007 13 Comments »
We were going to make a 45 minute drive to the nearest town. It was going to be a glorious trip; Sonic would be had, books would be bought, children would frolic in the 70 degree sunshine. O the day that was to be..
CLICKA CLICKA CLICKA CLICKA
That would be the sound of my [...]
Posted in I'm a mama y'all. on Aug 22nd, 2007 14 Comments »
Ava loves asking me to print out coloring pages off the interwebs. And she always comes up with bizarre and impossible suggestions:
Ava: Type in ‘Tinkerbell doing a dance with tap shoes and also is wearing a hat with a feather on it.’
Me: Here’s one of Tinkerbell with her wand.
Ava: You didn’t spell [...]
