The. Best. Thing. EVER.
Nov 7th, 2007 by Kristi
First, I should be writing. I’m only at 5100 words, which is crap.
Second, I can’t help it…I found something UH-MAY-ZING.
From Jennifer Sharpe of NPR:
A couple of years ago, while I was on vacation, I got a call from my friend Mike, who was back in Los Angeles, standing in his alley, looking at a Dumpster filled with beautifully shot publicity photos of unknown entertainers from the early 1970s. There were old rock bands, funk bands and lounge singers, like Guy Zummo — whom I’d eventually meet and reunite with his old headshots — rescued from the garbage.
Intrigued, I click the link leading to the photograph collection on flickr. Between the comments and the pictures themselves, I nearly wet my pants.
Now…let’s remember that these are unsuspecting musicians, whose pictures were rescued from a dumpster. Let’s all hope some nosy trash digger doesn’t retrieve our pictures out of the interwebs forty years from now. That being said, I apologize if your daddy or mama is included in the following:
TICKLE: This is exactly how I picture rock bands hanging out during their free time.
Mr. Wide-Stance on the right is totally trying to assault me with his eyes. And Weird Al just accidentally walked into the shot. He’s not in the band. The band called TEAZER.
Hooooo deearrrr. The back row…must…catch..breath…my…sides….Mr. Blond…pants…too-tight…excessively upright bandmate…next to him…and…lead…singer…so…sad…to…be…there…must…stop…laughing…
Nbuda Funkshun, what’s your junkshun?
FEM-MALE: WE’RE JUST DYING TO EAT YOU!
No Forehead: Wassup ladies. I’m a Leo. I like to party. And I’ve got some blow in my right shoe.
Pompadour: I’m so high up! Why am I holding this? I’m not even a singer!
Poindexter: (loud Horshack laugh)
We mustn’t laugh at Poindexter. Being in this band will be the highlight of his long, lonely life.
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Those are hilarious! That guy next to the Weird Al wanna be is trying to hypnotize people into buying the album.
I don’t think it worked.
Thanks for the ten minutes of uncontrollable laughter. I needed that!
I like to think that most of these people went on to careers in banking. With the same hair and clothes.
What is it about the seventies that made everyone look so ugly? Oh yeah…the hair and the clothes…
I think I wet myself a little. How could you not comment on the BLONDE Afro’d woman in the Omni Talent photo? How! That took a lifetime to perfect I bet! I must go and pee now. Or throw-up.
I was too busy having a laughter-induced heart attack. And no comment could justify the blondfro. If you think of one, let me know. Please.
I gotta ask: WHERE do you find this shit?
Thank you for starting my day with a giggle.
NPR baby.
These are awesome.
Nbuda Funkshun - Everybody look right at the camera except the two of you who are easily distracted by something slightly to your left. Funkadelic ADD.
Poindexter was asked to leave the group shortly after this photo shoot. “How many times did we have to tell you, Poindexter? We agreed we’d wear a dark shirt and a light vest. DARK SHIRT, LIGHT VEST! That’s it. We’re out of here. Have a nice life you paisley blouse wearing freakshow.”
‘Funkadelic ADD’… my new ultimate putdown. As in Britney is soooo funkadelic ADD.
That is when I’m not calling her a paisley blouse wearing freakshow.
[...] Thanks to the seriously funny Kristi at Here In Idaho for the link. Don’t miss her comments on some of the photos in this post. [...]
The Fem-males! The drag queen on the left looks familiar to me. Could that be James Galdolfini? I am somehow going to use Nbuda in a Christmas card….Seven Fro’s A-froing.
My favorite Fem-male is the Norman Bates guy to the right of James Gandolfini. Seriously…I think he just devoured my soul.
Fantastic. Sexy. Mmm. Except Poindexter, who is my life partner and I’ve seen him in far less than that. That haircut really doesn’t do him justice at all. He’s much better in his current flat top.
I’m picturing Poindexter getting a Can’t Buy Me Love style makeover and totally rocking out on the dance floor with his Nbuda-inspired dance moves. Kudos to you for nabbing Poindexter.
i heart Moonfast
The one with Charlie from Driveshaft and Steve Zahn and the monkey man in the back? I heart them, too.
oh. my. gawd. crying over here! i am so bookmarking that for in-depth analysis when i have more time. in the meantime, i am changing my name to nbuda funkshun, but my new dress style will be the vest with a skinny tie a la teazer.
thank you. THANK YOU!
You’re welcome, Nbuda or Ms. Funkshun if you’re nasty.
You guys have GOT to check out the flickr link. Some jokers who are waaaaay funnier than me made my day with their snide comments.
GACK!! One can see WHY those pictures ended up in the dumpster…still they are worthy of saving if only for the reminders of how NOT to wear one’s hair! (or pants, for that matter.)
Hey great blog!
I’d love it if you checked mine out, just started it a few days ago. I will be posting Mon-Thu every week, hopefully!
http://nmsles.blogspot.com
I write mostly blurbs and ramblings about music every day, and I want to start doing some more album/song reviews when the time comes. I would really appreciate a comment or some feedback!
thanks!
Oh…my…god. That’s one of the funniest collection of freaks and geeks I’ve ever seen. Thanks for the laugh.
are they old bands in USA ? this is the first time i saw them , were they popular on their time ?
These are probably just up-and-coming bands that never got nationally famous. But, I suppose each of them had their 15 minutes of relative fame. Amazing how out of place the hairstyles (and especially the fashions) of the ’70s looked. Although the Moody Blues and Beatles old pix look just fine. Altho I might be slightly biased…having long hair myself…can’t bring myself to cut it…
Sweet Fancy Moses. I have never seen such a fine example of the man camel toe.
You know, sometimes I see old footage of bands on those Time-Life Old-Music commercials, and all of a sudden it hits me how ridiculous most of them look, with scarves, tight outfits, long teased hair and all the other bells & whistles that accompanied (real or imagined) rock stardom. And yet I can’t bring myself to cut my hair. But then I met with a sense of relief tonite; I was playing some old Moody Blues albums…and their old pix didn’t look ridiculous at all.
I wonder about that ‘Horshack’ character in one of the bands you pictured…couldn’t he have done something, anything to improve his look? Didn’t either he or his bandmates know how AWFUL he looked? He looks more like a character from the movie ‘Deliverance’ than anything else!
Couldn’t Horshack or his bandmates see how ugly he was? What did he play? Washboard? He looks like the characters in the movie “Deliverance’. I do know that on those Time-Life commercials, all the old bands look fairly ridiculous. Altho I was playing old Moody Blues LP’s tonite, and their old pix still look okay. I might be biased tho.
Seriously? Oh.My.God.
There are just too many things to say! I wonder, however, what they look like now. I say we track all of them down and do before and after pictures.
This is perfect. Thanks so much!
Fem-Males-hahahahaha!
Oh lordy…I remember the 70s…I had an afro too and I’m a white chick with blond hair. I sat for hours getting that perm….yes it was in style then. I have the picture to proove how insane I looked, lol. OMG these pictures are hillarious! Thanks for the memories!
I just peed my pants, thank you very much. Great fun!