Posted in I'm a mama y'all. on Jan 29th, 2008 5 Comments »
So I’m up in the bleachers, watching my girl get her gymnastics on, or rather watching the older girls do their flip flop thingys because that’s way cooler than my girl playing the fool. So I’m watching the big girls do stuff like this:
…when I hear sounds that resemble the laughs and noises produced [...]
Posted in A day in the life, Keepin' it Will., Look at me...I'm so great. on Jan 27th, 2008 12 Comments »
Do you know the phrase ’spinning your wheels?’ When you look up that particular phrase in the phrase dictionary, you will find a picture of me, in my Dodge Caravan, stuck in my own neighborhood at 6 am on a Sunday morning, unable to move forward or backwards, blocking the road for others, wet [...]
Posted in Choose your own adventure, Conversations in my Head, I'm a mama y'all. on Jan 25th, 2008 19 Comments »
…hastily thrown together in the sudden realization that I haven’t written a post all week. Me = Lazy blogger. I suck. Feel free to boycott my blog with righteous indignation. In the meantime, here are a few true gems spoken at my house this week:
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Ava: I would never sneak out [...]
Posted in I'm a mama y'all., Unfunny on Jan 19th, 2008 11 Comments »
I used to have great disdain for parents who overscheduled their kids. Over-ambitious activity freaks, I thought they were. And who schedules ‘playdates’ anyway? Seriously? I’M JUST GOING TO LET MY KIDS BE KIDS, I said.
Cut to January, 2008.
Me: Uh…Charlie’s going to start piano next week.
Him: Really?
Me: [...]
Posted in Conversations in my Head, Look at me...I'm so great. on Jan 15th, 2008 26 Comments »
More things I want to do in aught-eight:
kick a midget in order to feel better about my own shortness
hold my breath for six hours
trick Will into thinking I’m pregnant, then get fat, then act like I was never pregnant and he made the whole thing up and he should go to the crazy doctor for [...]
Posted in Look at me...I'm so great., Unfunny, Write said Fred on Jan 14th, 2008 16 Comments »
Now that it’s 2008, I suppose I should revise my to-do list. This time I’m going to focus on what I want to do this year, which certainly changes things up a bit. I heart lists.
Also, this list belongs on the page entitled “Kristi’s Big To-Do.” But I couldn’t get it on [...]
Posted in Think McFly Think on Jan 10th, 2008 22 Comments »
Once again, I find myself baffled at the lingo the kids are bantering about these days. And by ‘kids’ I mean ‘multimillionaire hip hop artists whose songs are at the top of the Billboard Hot Singles Chart. ‘ Hopelessly unhip to the jive as I am, I struggle with understanding the meaning [...]
Posted in A day in the life, I'm a mama y'all. on Jan 8th, 2008 15 Comments »
Charlie: Mom, Ava’s head is stuck in the rocking chair.
Me: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ava: I’m stuck! I’m stuck! I can’t get out! It’s not funny!
Me: No, baby. It’s not funny. Not even a little bit.
So we spent five minutes trying to extricate a four year girl’s head from the [...]
Posted in I'm a mama y'all., Unfunny on Jan 3rd, 2008 7 Comments »
You do? You do? Awesome!
Once instructed to smirk arrogantly, Ava excelled at picture-taking.
Don’t do it. Just don’t.
I guess I could invest in some hair clips or something.
Have you met my daughter, Photogenia?
Or my husband the dock worker-slash-New England fisherman?
Only Charlie noticed the attacking sleigh horses. Only Ava was able [...]
Posted in I'm a mama y'all., Showin' some love y'all., The emancipation of meme, Write said Fred on Jan 1st, 2008 8 Comments »
We took a horse-drawn sleigh ride today. I could never be a farmer or a cowgirl or any other agriculturally vocationed person for one reason only: poop. That’s all I’ve got to say about that.
Otherwise, the sleigh ride was lovely, and the perfect way to start the year. We’re still hosting, [...]
