What do you get when you mix a goofball 19 year old girl who likes to sing and also likes to change the words to the songs that she sings and also likes to sing at people and insert their names into the songs, with a not-as-goofy 18 year old boy who’s name is Will and has specifically said that he hates to be sung at?

Behold:

Eight million points to the fool who actually had the answer to that riddle.

And THAT was how I won my husband. By switching out all the ‘Bills’ for ‘Wills’ and screaming this song out at the poor unfortunate boy named Will every time I saw him in the cafeteria at HSU in Abilene, Texas. Sometimes with my friends. Sometimes in his face. Sometimes with a fork held up to my face as a microphone. Sometimes with his back towards me because he was ashamed to be sung to by a girl who seemed to think she was in a McDonalds commercial or some other video montage featuring college students and their crazy hijinks.

How seductive was I? Very seductive. That’s how much. And in honor of Will’s 31st birthday today, I thought I’d post one of the songs that reminds him of me. Because if your husband’s birthday isn’t all about you, then you fail at life.

(To be sung with Broadway style, obsessive vocals, hopefully sounding like a stalker or perhaps a psychopath wearing a wedding gown smeared in blood.)

WWWWWWWIIIIIILLLLLLLL, I LOVE YOU SO, I ALWAYS WILL! (Like how I just rhymed Will with Will. That’s right. I did it.)
And in your voice I hear a choir of carousels (?!?!)
Oh, but am I ever gonna hear my wedding bells?
I was the one who came runnin’ when you were lonely
I haven’t lived one day not lovin’ you only
But kisses and love won’t carry me till you marry me WILL

Happy birthday, darling.