Posted in Conversations in my Head, Dear Diary on Jun 14th, 2008 2 Comments »
Dear diary,
1st off, I just wanna thank my precious Lord and Savior for getting me my child porn acquittal. Big ups, Jesus! You my n-word!
2nd of all, I’m gonna just take this opportunity to record my thoughts and feelings after this traumatic time. I never thought all of this could happen to [...]
Posted in Dear Diary on Dec 20th, 2007 6 Comments »
Deare diary:
OMG Y’ALL! I am soooooo pissed. First off alls, this is cleerly a case of Jamie Lynn being all jealous of my celebrity status and trying to get her own name in the papers and the tabloids. And third, I can’t beleeve she’s having an out-of-wedlock baby! Thats totally against [...]
Posted in Dear Diary on Sep 12th, 2007 13 Comments »
To understand this post, first click here. Then come back.
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DEAR DIARY!
HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF ME, DIARY! HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME WITH YOUR ACCUSING EYES! AFTER ALL I’VE BEEN THROUGH? HOW DARE YOU!!!!! I’VE RUN OUT OF ENOUGH BLEACH TO FINISH MY HAIR AND ALL YOU CAN [...]
Posted in Conversations in my Head, Dear Diary on Aug 28th, 2007 9 Comments »
Dear Diary,
I can’t belieeeeeeve everyone still thinks I’m gay. Are we going to make accusations like this every time a guy tries to rendezvous secretly with an anonymous stranger in a public restroom? Is this what America is coming to? If I had been given a chance to explain, I would have [...]
Posted in Dear Diary on Jun 4th, 2007 5 Comments »
Dear Diary,
so now that Lindz is in rehab i’ve been totally raiding her closet. i got some strappy jimmy choos for my Free Paris party 2night. We’re gonna have soooo much fun! So i sorta feel bad about Lindz having to go to rehab. I told my therapist and he (omg [...]
Posted in Dear Diary on May 16th, 2007 24 Comments »
Dear Diary,
OH. MY. PURSE. You would not belieeeeeeve who just died. I was getting my Tuesday mani/pedi when I heard the news. I texted Laalaa and and Dipsy (still not talking to Po the ho) and we met over the Tres Gay Bar to celebrate. Cosmopolitans on the house girlfriend!!!!
So now [...]
Posted in Conversations in my Head, Dear Diary on May 15th, 2007 4 Comments »
dear diary,
the black rose
is my heart
the white fingernail
is my soul
the burning chicken nuggets
is their lunch
i wrote this poem after teaching the wretched travesty which is grammar today. i considered sharing it with the children but i don’t believe their happy untainted minds could comprehend the darkness in my blemished heart. so i spared [...]
Posted in Dear Diary on May 7th, 2007 1 Comment »
This is Will’s favorite post ever.
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October 9, 2006
Dear Diary,
Today I detonated North Korea’s first atomic bomb. I bet the capitalist Americans are FREAKING OUT lol. And the chinese mainland…I hate those guys. They’re always in my space. And I think they’re stalking my Myspace page…I keep getting spam and “ur a looser.” on my comments. [...]
Posted in Dear Diary on Apr 14th, 2007 9 Comments »
Deer diery,
today I am meeting with my laywyer about our strateragy for gitting Dannylinn. He ses I am mite get custudy if I can proove howe I wus a goode mothre to mi kids. I sed, “But everey one nose I ain’t a goode mom. Somtimes I drop babies on the flore [...]
Posted in Dear Diary, LeftRightWrong on Mar 16th, 2007 7 Comments »
Estimado diario,
I’m meeting with the…how do you say…eh…. ‘foxy’ Barbara Walters for a heart to heart chit-chat. Aye Dios Mio! I hope she doesn’t ask about my little one-eyed puppy dog that died when I was four! Aye, my poco Pepito! You will always be in mi corazon, mi canine amigo!
So in [...]
